Shock and Awe

Since Dad's funeral, I've begun to understand what is referred to as the grief cycle. There has been sadness, depression, anger, fear, doubt, you name an emotion and I've been through it. I remember the feeling of being in shock. If you came to Dad's wake or funeral or saw me at any point that week I was in a complete state of shock. The funny thing was I knew I was in shock. I didn't know that was possible.

I found myself thinking, "I'm going to be in a lot of trouble when the shock wears off and reality sets in." Guess what?

I was right!

I can't really pinpoint an exact moment when it happened but I do remember thinking that I just wanted to stay in bed all day. I didn't want to face it or the day, but fortunately that wasn't an option for me. I had to get up and take care of business. However, I did start to think and this question popped into my head...

...How many times in one life do we wish we could simply pull the blanket over our head and forget our problems exist?

Did a number pop into your head? I saw the sign for infinity because its happened a lot.

During one of my long voyages between Mom's in Midway and my grandmother's in Purvis, my mind was overloaded with one thought on my mind. And like so many others, something my Dad told me ended up being a major part of the thought process.

He told me this story one time a long time ago. It was before my teenage years. I may have been in single digits because I remember having nightmares about it. Dad told me about this dream he was having. He was walking through the woods. They were beautiful. He felt like he was exactly where he needed to be and then he came upon this river and saw the land on the other side. It was even more beautiful and more breathtaking than his current surroundings. He knew he had to ge there. That was where he was meant to be. He searched for a bridge that would take him to the other side, and when he finally found one he began to run across.

But he was soon frozen in his tracks. Because as he crossed the bridge he noticed that he wasn't the only one there. There was another figure standing about teen feet before the landing on the other side. Dad stopped because he was afraid. The figure was solid black and smoky and Dad knew it was pure evil. In his words, "I knew Satan himself was standing there between me and where I needed to be."

He stood there for what seemed like hours just staring at this evil before him. He didn't know what to do, but he knew there were only two options. He could turn around and go back to where he had already been, but that meant turning his back to the devil who he feared would attack him or he could step forward and face the devil and got to the land he knew he had to go too.

Dad made his choice. He told me that every step he took felt like a million pounds of pressure and that the fear continually increased. But finally, he was face to face with the devil and with all his strength he said, "God says I'm supposed to be over there and you can't stop me."

The devilish figure disappeared and that is when Dad said he woke up. Now you can interpret that dream several different ways, but let me share with you how its affected me in the last week. I think God was trying to tell Dad that not all obstacles in the road are from Him. Some obstacles are thrown in our path by Satan himself, but what is important to remember is there is no obstacle that God can't handle no matter who put it there.

When there is something in life worth fighting for obstacles are going to appear. It is in these times that we find out the true character of a person. Will you face your fear/the devil and march to your destiny or will you simply turn your back and leave it wide open for an attack?